Things that you may struggle to understand – Questions answered about Panic Anixety Disorder
“Why can’t you just PUSH THROUGH IT?”
1. “If somebody told me that there was a suitcase filled with a billion dollars with my name on it, in Montauk and all I had to do was drive there and get it…I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.” Some days, this is exactly how it feels. Some days we may hold more power than we do on others. You may not understand how one day we may be able to do things/function with little incidents… or even have a panic attack and recover quickly…and the next we can’t. Every day on the road to healing is different. You must understand this if you want to be a supporter. While seeing someone fall back for a day or so may really suck from the outside, if you see them fight their way back up after—realize that! The road to recovery may be slow and never final, but we will learn to cope. Give positive energy towards that!
“People who have anxiety problems are SELFISH and are always worrying about THEMSELVES!”
2. There are more emotions and sensations than you can even imagine going on inside a person who deals with this disorder (and many like it!). If the person cares about getting better, or helping you understand how they can get better…they are going to share this with you. It may seem that things are “all about them” and the focus is “on them” a lot. Believe me, that is not how they mean for it to come out. Nor is it part of an ego issue…most of the time they wouldn’t want the attention on them. However, having this and knowing others that suffer, we always seem to be trying to get other people to understand. It is almost like screaming underwater to some people…and let me tell you; if I did not have it, I don’t know if I could understand it either. You almost have to put yourself into a deep deep part of your mind, and try to feel exactly what that person feels by actually BELIEVING them. Imagine a knife being held to your child’s throat, waking up and your house is on fire and there is no way out…that feeling of doom and fear and adrenaline all in one that makes you act totally out of hand. That is how someone with panic disorder may feel just doing something you deem part of your “everyday routine”. There is a filing cabinet in our brain which stores little pieces of information from every little event in life. When something reminds the brain of it, it will pull the little file out, maybe it is something we wore one day where something bad happened, or a place that we panicked…that tells the brain that this item or person is DANGEROUS. We need to trick it to NOT believe that, and to STOP right there at the stage of sensing something so it does not progress during the day and become a panic attack. Some days, this is able to be done, some days, it isn’t. To be a safe person or an active supporter for this person, is not easy. But if you agree to be this person to help, you must realize that at times, they may need the extra support...and try not to take things to heart. They come to you for a reason.
3. "The only cure for this is.."
It is unfair to say a person may need the same exact treatment as another. What may work for someone, will not nessicarily work for another. Symptoms may be identically ...most people with disorders like panic disorder can really identify the same feelings with each other...but treatment by medication may work for one while cognitive behavior therapy may work for another. Someone else may have needed both ! You do what is right for you. For some, cbt and exposure therapy will train their brain to let go, get used to sensations, which in turn will make them more calm and powerful. Others, may train their brains with medication to numb these feelings. Of course medication may be faster acting...but in my personal opinion, if I can work through it without harmful chemicals/ brain numbing agents that may cause me to lose memories completely...I will take that route. Even if it may be ten times harder, take ten times longer, and progress may come ten times slower...if there is progress at all..guess what... It is still progress! And it should be looked at as progress. Recognizing progress of a person who is trying to cope and beat this, is a huge antidote to falling further back. You will make them believe in themselves. The positive mood and energy that you give to them will add to theirs and positive feelings help healing while negative feelings delay it. Being a cancer (a double cancer, actually) my intuition and feelings of my own and other peoples emotions around me, are stronger than most people. I will feed off good vibes! I think most people will agree with that, though :)
An example of exposure therapy is: I could not swallow pills my whole life. One day I said. Screw these feelings. I need to do this. I worked up from small bitty tablets to huge fish oil and multivitamin pills that I take daily now. I may have anxiety as i open the lid, and may have to hold onto something like a crazy person as it goes down my throat as I get huge surges of panic, but guess what? I can do it! And that feeling will go away after a while of exposing myself to the thing that provokes that emotion. I just needed to be ready to do it, nobody forced it upon me, which is why I didn't cower away from it due to pressure, and was able to beat it myself.
4. Good days and bad days.
We know how hard it is for someone who cares to see us fall back on a day . Nobody wants to see that happen to someone they love. It's easy to become frustrated, thinking you are not helping the person...or maybe even mad at them...assuming they were just lazy and gave up. This is only human. Being human means having emotions. Just know that they would not come to you if you were not helping them. It is not a behavior issue like maybe a child receiving a lollipop after being good at the doctor and behaving well next time because of that...remember this. They are not disobeying or falling back due to a behavior issue. Some people treat it that way and use punishment...as if all the emotions and panic from that day isn't enough for that person, they're punished for something they had no control over. I see this happen to children who have anxiety all the time. It happened to me before I knew what my problem was in school. I was terrified for no reason some days to even walk into class. I cut class. Not to smoke pot or anything, but to walk home or sit in the bathroom hiding for a period or so, not knowing why I felt that way. What did I get? Internal suspension for cutting class. Not the administrations fault, they didn't know. They only thought I was another kid not giving a shit. So I sat with kids in ISS who started fist fights to get there. There are many misunderstandings with anxiety. And no one to blame most of the time...it just happens, it is complex. Some people may not even believe in it!
I am no doctor, this is all from my own experience, and some others I have spoken to. I hope this shines a bit of light on some who may not get it, or are unsure how to help. Sometimes, just being there and holding a persons hand is enough to help drown the fear. This goes for people of all issues, mental...physical..emotional!
There may be more posts like this. :)
-Dani
